7 days and other thoughts

Seven more days before election Tuesday and I am getting more and more anxious. I think I probably read anywhere from five to 10 articles about the political race every day and they never fail to leave me wondering what is going to happen to the country in the near future. It's funny, I've always been into politics and yet I have a hard time remembering the last time I had such a vested interest in the outcome. I don't know why it is such a surprise. Four years ago Balin wasn't even an after thought, Grace was a mere two years old and Megan had been driving for less than two months. We were trying to sell out house so we could build a nice new one. Oh how things have changed.

I'm not going to spend all this blog talking politics but I would be remiss if I didn't continue to reinforce my thoughts. I believe we are on the brink of something really special. In my lifetime I have seen seven different Presidents serve the office and none of them have been world changing. Sure, Reagan was in position when the Berlin Wall came down and communism floundered, yet as much as the US had to do with it, I don't feel as if it was as impacting to you and me as the events that could transpire over the next administration (should Obama be elected). Say what you will about him, but he is a Kennedy like figure, fighting not for human rights , as JFK did in the '60s, but for the rights of the middle class. Some people will label him a socialist for wanting to "spread the wealth". Yet if we look at socio-economic growth the disparity between the rich and the middle class has continued to grow at an alarming rate. Staunce conservatives will say that the reason behind this is that the people with money work harder. I fall in a group of people who are classified as the "lower-middle class". I've worked my ass off over the last 22 years to get through college, to claw my way up the ladder at work and I haven't seen a pay increase in over six years. No one is going to tell me that I don't work hard enough and that I don't deserve my cut of the pie. Everyone reading this, remember that it was lack of Wall Street regulation and corrupt business that has crushed our economy and left the lower middle class struggling to keep their homes. The rich continue to sacrifice the poor upon the altar of greed by taking away jobs and sending them over seas, or raising prices so they can maintain their bloated salaries or in the event of a full on corporate collapse taking their golden parachutes, laughing as they clutch their bags of money taken from the pockets of the "serfs".

We are moving towards a feudal society and Obama recognizes that. We need big change and hopefully he will bring it soon. For those who are republicans and hate the ideals of Obama, I'm not going to argue politics with you. Preach about how bad it will be under Obama should he get elected. You aren't going to change my feelings. All I can say is that if the polls continue to go in the direction they appear to be then you better get used to these changes.

On the home front, I'm getting to learn a lot more about my kids as I am spending a lot more time alone with them. Balin, it turns out, really loves his sister. Two weeks in a row now I've taken Grace to ballet class and Balin has broken into tears when we leave her. I think he really misses her when she is gone. I'm sure that it will change as he gets older.

Angie has been taking him to the library on Monday's for toddler storytime and he really enjoys it. He is extremely attentive to things now, sitting for much longer periods of time once his attention is grabbed. Last night he pulled his little rocking chair over, sat down and watched Thomas the Train on television when it happened to come on. He is also talking more and getting a bit easier to understand. He will often repeat words when you ask him too. I was happy yesterday when he said "Bub". He has also started saying "please" and "car" and countless other words. It is great fun watching him practice his language skills.

Gracie is having some issues. She has all of the sudden become afraid of the dark once again (this has happened before). She has taken to sleeping with her closet light on and the door wide open to flood the room with light. I'm not sure what the cause of this is, but think it may have to do with Angie not being around as much, now that she works a couple of evenings a week. Hopefully we can break her of that problem. One good thing, she seems to be eating better and it is much less of a fight to get her to eat what we are eating.

We went down to Ball State and visited Megan last weekend. She got us tickets to the football game. It was extremely cold and the weather was threatening all day. We ended up leaving after the third quarter because we were all cold and getting hungry. We went to her room and checked out the place then took a walk around campus. Seeing the whole environment made me wish she would stay down there. She has her reasons though but I can't help but think she has lost a phenominal opportunity. Oh well, you can only control your children for so long before you have to let go and allow them to lead their own lives.

I started working at Atomic's new mall store this past Sunday. It hurt my feet as there is no place to sit and I was very tired by the end of my shift. Other than that it wasn't bad. We didn't have huge sales, but had a lot of foot traffic. I suppose we will see a huge increase in sales over the next four weeks.

I'm in pretty good spirits right now. I'm not sure why. I hope it continues (it likely has something to do with the way politics are heading). I'm looking forward to Nanowrimo though right now I have no idea what I am going to write about. That said, I hope I can keep up with my blog (though my entries are not coming as often as I would like) and my novel. I've failed to write so many times that Nanowrimo gives me inspiration to at least try. Besides that, it gives me an opportunity to share my writing with you guys. I hope I can get some feedback once I do start writing. If anyone has any ideas of what I should write about (even a genre to start with) it would be helpful. Here are the ideas I've toyed with:

• The whole Wolves of Paris idea I wrote about in my last blog entry
• A story about a man and woman who adopts a bunch of different kids with differing ethic backgrounds and ages and the subsequent downward spiral of the family when tragedy strikes the family
• A story about a man who is spiraling towards self destruction due to continued loss and struggles
• A story about a little girl who lives with her mom and believes, like the mom did, that one day the father just left them and has never bothered to come back. The girl finds a passage to a mysterious land with clues that her father had also been there and is now trapped (hence the reason he never came home).
• Something to do with dictionaries. I was considering writing a story based upon someone who is voracious about them and his daydreams about including himself in the lives of some of the great lexicographers.
• A fantasy story about the life of Elyot the Definer a noble turned zealot and inquistitor.

Those are just a few topics that have popped in my head. Please share with me any idea you might have or offer up your vote as to what I should write about. On November first, at midnight my month begins and by Saturday (yeah, this Saturday) I have to have 1667 words down on paper. By Sunday I need 3334 and by this time next week I'm supposed to have 8335 words on paper. It is a huge undertaking. Please support me as I try to better last year and hopefully get to that elusive 50,000 word mark.

Well, that's all I got for now. Thanks for reading and I hope to hear from all of you soon.

Nanowrimo

I think all of you understand that I like to write. Well, last year I participated in something called Nanowrimo. Nanowrimo is a contest where authors attempt to pen a 50,000 word (175 page) novel in 30 days. It runs for the entire month of November and can be very difficult. I tried it last year and failed to accomplish the goal of finishing, even though I was successful in reaching 12,000 words (which to me was a huge accomplishment). Last year I was plague by responsibility, the most pressing being all the debate tournaments I had as well as an audit held the week of Thanksgiving. I was also working two days for Atomic, so needless to say I gave myself plenty of excuses not to write.

I am considering trying this again. I'm not really sure what I want to write about, but am considering a story loosely based on the story of the Wolves of Paris. The Wolves of Paris were a pack of man-eating dogs plaguing Paris in 1450, killing 40 people. The leader of the pack was lured into the Notre Dame Cathedral and killed on the steps leading up to the altar. It seems like a pretty compelling story, though I am considering having it set in 21st century America following the collapse of the American economic struture leading to an economic apocalpyse and decay of our society. Not real sure I know how I would go about getting there, but I think it would take a whole lot of words to do so, which is the purpose of Nanowrimo (quantity over quality).

I've got a couple of other ideas, though nothing really fleshed out that I could right about. My story, Corpse, which some of you may have read some of earlier on in this blog was my attempt from last year, though it fizzled out once I started rereading and editting what I had submitted. This year I won't be changing anything, leaving the story as is in an attempt to just meet my word count goals.

Why am I writing this here? Well, the fact is I don't think I can do this without help. 50,000 words is a grueling amount of writing. I hit writers bloc just like everyone else or I start to get lazy and I really need encouragement to meet my goal. I am a chronic project abandoner. This is a huge project and if I don't get help, I will fail. So, I'm asking all of you who read this to help me with Nanowrimo. If you want to read more about it, go to http://www.nanowrimo.org/

I would love to accomplish this. If you have a story idea, or words of encouragement I really could use them. Over the next day or two I am going to work on coming up with a brief outline for my story. Chances are it will be changing, maybe dramatically, especially if I come up with a new idea I might be interested in writing about.

Anyone think I can do this? I sure would like to. Writing a book is something I've always wanted to do. Maybe November will be my month to accomplish it?

Life as it is...

I haven't written in awhile, and I figured I would spend a few minutes on a Saturday afternoon typing out a few words while I have a minute. Life has not been kind as of late and everyday seems a grind. Finding the energy to put into this blog is difficult, hence the reason I haven't written lately.

Work is a pit of despair anymore. I go in everyday wondering if I'm going to be sent home without pay simply because the company can't afford to keep me right now. As I sit here typing I look down on a plant floor that has ran a total of 6 shifts this week due to low production orders from GM. People from my plant, for corporate and from the others plants have been sent home without pay, with a promise that they will be brought back to run production on Monday. That means that most people are only drawing 2 days worth of pay a week without hope for recovering any of the lost wage through unemployment. I'm hoping I don't become one of the expendable and get sent packing for days at a time.

I've approached John, the friend of mine that owns Atomic Hobbies and Games and he has offered me hours at a new mall store they are opening next week. I've already committed to working Sundays just in case as well as to subsidize my income for the upcoming holiday season. I may try to work more days during the week to get even more money. I have a feeling I"m going to need it.

Angie started her new job working as a receptionist for a Fort Wayne psychiatrist. It has been a bit difficult for me as I've had to become a lot less flexible with my time. Angie works until 5:00 three days a week and until 8:00 on two nights, which means I have to pick up the kids every night as well as prepare dinner for everyone and anythng else they might need. The kids tend to stress me out when we get home because it is typically Balin's crankiest time (he's hungry and normally tired because he doesn't nap well at the sitter's). Grace is normally very demanding of my time and between the two they are pulling me in different directions. I welcome Angie's homecomings simply because she offers a distraction for the kids. The result of her job means that I can no longer go to Atomic on Thursday's (unless I want to drive all the way back across town) so my Warmachine games are basically a thing of the past.

Megan is home right now and her presence is bringing a great deal of stress to Angie and I. For reasons not to be discussed, we would just rather she just stay at school. The house has a lot less turmoil when she isn't home arguing with Grace, trashing Balin's room, or lounging around in bed until late morning. When she isn't doing that she is typically laying down on the couch or similarly not doing much of anything.

The economy is really hurting us, though we are making attempts to reduce our spending. I will likely be canceling one of our two cell phones. We canceled some of our premiere programming for satellite TV, and we try not to go to the grocery store unless we really need to. I think we are doing okay, but only time will tell as full time babysitting costs may make things ugly for us. On a positive note, November should be the last month we have to pay our overly inflated mortgage payments, so that should help.

Tonight Grace is having a friend over to spend the night, officially making it Grace's first real sleep over she's had at our house. She's been excited about it all week. I'm glad she got the opportunity, she's a good little girl.

I finally finished Ken Follett's Pillars of the Earth. It was a good book. Maybe I'll post a full review next week some time. Shortly after finishing it, I went and purchased the sequel to Pillars, called A World Without End. It too is very good and while I'm only about 80 pages in, it too is shaping up to be excellent.

Balin is still eating, and he is starting to talk a lot more. You really have to pay attention, but more and more recognizable words are coming out. Last night I discovered that he really enjoys the show Hole in the Wall. He sat there in his little rocker glued to the TV, occasionally laughing when the people got pushed into the water. It was like he was in a trance. He has also discovered a new found love for all things Elmo. He loves Sesame Street. Whenever we put his food on an Elmo plate he typically talks to the characters on it. It's pretty funny.

Our cat is getting bigger and filling out much better. He is eating a ton and while he is a good cat, I've learned I'm not terribly fond of litter boxes, especially full ones, particularly ones that he fills while we are just settling down to go to sleep. More than once I've had to get out of bed and clean the thing simply because the cat smells so bad. Oh the joys of pet ownership. As I told Angie, he's a nice cat, but he makes we wish for one more day with my beloved dog Hugh.

I need this weekend. I plan on retreating into the den tonight and getting online to play World of Warcraft with some friends of mine. It is a nice escape from reality, something that is really lacking now that I'm not playing much Warmachine. I've had a couple opportunities to play some board games with some friends but that doesn't do much to occupy my constantly racing mind. Warcraft serves that need quite well when I can escape the kids and get away.

I know things are hard for us right now, but I hold out hope that they will get better. I'm not bitter, just a bit remorseful that things are all wonderful and shiny. I dream of the days, like the day we brought Grace home from the hospital, or the day Megan got her braces off, or the first time Hughie was able jump up on the couch. With all the overwhelming issues I deal with everyday, it seems like the simple pleasures are practically ignored.

And life goes on...

Lady Antebellum

About 6 to 8 months ago I was watching the country music channel on TV one Saturday morning and a catchy little song called Love Don't Live Here Anymore came on. The lead singer, a tall guy with a meticulously groomed beard had a great voice and the song just grabbed a hold of me, forcing me to listen.

I've always had a good ear for music and immediately thought, "This band is going to be really good one day." I had the same impression of bands like Tool (before they even released Undertow) , Green Day, and the Wallflowers (the pet project of Bob Dylan's son, Jakob). I listened to their song and watched their video wondering if they had any more singles released seeing as this was the first time I had been exposed to them.

I decided to go on line and do some research. The band who sang the song was called Lady Antebellum out of Nashville. They hadn't been around together long and had in fact just released their first single, the song I happened to hear on CMT. The band was made up of three friends, Charles Kelly (the tall guy and co-lead singer), Dave Haywood (a talented guitar and keyboard player) and Hillary Scott (a eye-catchingly beautiful co-lead singer with a haunting voice). Well, I was enthralled by them and checked their concert page to see if they were coming close to Fort Wayne. I was thrilled to find out that not only where they coming close, but they were actually playing at the Auburn Free Fall Fair where I could go and see them for absolutely nothing.

I was excited and told Angie I wanted to go see them when they were in town.

Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago...

Angie and I don't get out on our own too often. We typically have at least one, but usually both kids. Well, we had set it up a month earlier so that the kids could hang out with Grandma and Grandpa Zuber while we went up to Auburn. I was excited all day long, looking forward to seeing the band.

When we got there we were able to get good seats near the middle. We could have actually gone really close to the stage but I didn't want to be crushed by all the people that were filling in up there. We decided that our seats were good as it was and sat back and waited.

There was a good sized crowd, yet it was comfortable. I was actually surprised by how many hardcore fans there were. When the band finally came on stage some of the people were super excited.

I have to admit, even in the 6 months that I had known of the band, I only heard 3 or 4 of their songs. I did however like all of them. I was amazed on how good they sounded live, and each song had an energy to it. Some of the music was upbeat and inspiring, others were slow and moody, playing on emotions, yet beautiful all the same. I honestly have to admit that there wasn't one song I didn't like.

The show was seemed very short, getting over with just past 9:00pm (it started at 8:00). As the concerted concluded the band announced that they were selling T-shirts and CDs up at a tent near the stage. I told Angie I really wanted a CD, so we went up afterwards and waited in line. As we got to the table we saw that the three bandmates had come out and were sitting at the table signing autographs and personally greeting and shaking hands with everyone in line.

It was really cool to talk to them and thank them for entertaining us. All three of them seemed very real and down to earth. They seemed grateful that we came out and I was happy to have all three of the sign my CD.

Now I'm not saying that they are a good band because I got to meet them. They are just really goo musicians. Anyone reading this that appreciates country music would be wise to check them out, because they are just that good. You can listen to their first single by following this link to youtube: Lady Antebellum: Love Don't Live Here Anymore

Oh, one last thing, evidently others thought they were pretty good to. Lady Antebellum was recognized by the ACM as being the best new country group. Good stuff. Tell me what you think.

Homecoming

This past weekend I decided to attend Adrian College's homecoming celebration. This was the first time I had been back on campus for sometime and I was looking forward to seeing some of my old friends and checking out a campus that has seen some changes over the last couple of years.

I started off by just wandering around, looking at some buildings that had not changed in the 20 years since I had went there as well as at those that did not even exist last time I was on campus. The most radical change had to be the addition of an on campus football stadium and ice arena. The rink was beautiful, as was the stadium. It was amazing seeing the kind of activity the football field attracted as there were many people there hours before the evening's football game, happily tailgating in the parking lot. The ice rink was hosting a hockey game and while I would have liked to have watched, I had places to be and people to see.

I next went to the ATO house to see my fraternity brothers. I was a bit frustrated by the fact that the house was missing their letters. I voiced this to the brothers i met inside, insisting that they find a way to display the letters that were common to all of us. They gave excuses but hey, they are college kids with far more important agendas than that which I might have.

I was the first one that day to visit the house and all the guys there were very kind and receptive to my invasion. The house was clean, and the guys seemed comfortable there. I was hoping to find some of my other brothers, guys I shared my college years with, but no one had shown and there was no anticipation of any showing up. After hanging out for about 30 minutes I decided to wander off again, heading over to the student center.

This building used to be the old Gynasium and I was surprised to see the renovations that had occurred. It was now a beautiful student center with study rooms (cleverly made out of the old press boxes), a new big, bright book store, a Quiznos sub shop (I would have never expected that) and even a fully functioning salon that offered hair cuts, manicures and tanning beds. I was really a suprise. WHile there I ran in to a lady who had worked at the snack bar at Adrian while I had been there. She remembered me and it was really nice speaking to her.

After checking out the student center I wandered over to the new communication building and was happy to see my old friends Sheri and Peter Bleam. Sheri has always been a mentor to me and I was happy to hear that her husband, Pete, had gotten his doctorate and was now a professor in the communication department as well. I got to see the new building with the beautiful new classrooms and television studio. It was simply amazing how far the department has come since I was there. In additon to seeing Sheri I got to see an old friend, Sue Hobe, who I used to hang out with when I was a freshman. She was always a sweetheart and while I've lost contact with her I've always wanted to re-establish our connection so I could stay up with what she is up to. I also got to see a few other friends while there and really enjoyed every minute of it.

After the communication department reception I headed back over to the ATO house and was able to reconnect with my brother, Wes Tapp and his wife and family. Wes has always been a good friend, even standing up in my wedding as I did so in his. It was nice to visit with him and Saralynn. I was able to talk with another of the current brothers and help him with recreating some of the fraternal family trees. I enjoyed thinking back but realized just how many of my memories have fled. I'm going to have to dig through the attack at Mom's house to see if I can find some of my odl ATO stuff to hopefully help me remember. I just love thinking back to my years at Adrian.

I've made up my mind that I am going to try to work with the current brothers to see about bringing back as many of my old brothers as I can next year. I really miss them and would love to re-establish with many of them

At about 6:00 I decided it was about time to get going to I said goodbye to everyone and took one more walk across campus. I still miss my days there and wish they never would have ended. I do know that given the opportunity I will go back more often, if anything just to reconnect with the place that meant so much to me 20 years ago.

The New Addition

As some of you who have been following this blog for awhile know, we had a little kitten named Whiskers join our family for about 4 days back in May, only to have it pass away when he went back to live with Caleb. Well, after all this time (with considerable pressure placed on us by one particular little girl) we dove head first back into the world of pet ownership yesterday.

Actually it all started on Saturday when we took Gracie and Balin to the Fort Wayne Animal Care and Control to look at animals. Angie and I wanted to look at the dogs, but Gracie was insistent on going into the room with the kittens. We relented.

It was fun watching the two of them interact with the little kitties. I was worried because Grace wanted to hold each of them in turn and was not very agile at handing the cats. Most of them folded over at the belly when she lifted them up, illiciting more than a few plantive "meows". I was trying to control Gracie and failed to pay attention to Balin who attempted to pick up one of the kittens himself. He did so by grasping the cat firmly around the neck and lifting. Needless to say his attempt was far more distressing than Gracie's.

I finally pried his finger apart and got the cat back on the ground when he quickly went after another one. Eventually we had to pick Balin up just so he couldn't get to the poor kittens.

We looked at about 20 different cats and finally settled on lovable six month old black and white short haired named Scooby Doo. It didn't take long to decide that it could come home with us but it's stupid name was staying at the pound. That caused a great deal of consternation between Grace and Angie who had their own ideas on what to name the cat. Angie preferred the names Cooper or Wilson. Grace favored the old favorite, "Mittens". Over the span of the weekend they argued back and forth. I threw out a few names and was basically poo-pooed by both of them. So, by the time yesterday rolled around and it was time for me to swing by and pick up the cat, we still had no resolution, that is until I got home.

Grace was waiting for me in the driveway. She wanted the cat and she wanted it now. Well, I took it into the house and let it our of the carrier. Grace snatched it up and told it that his name was now Mittens and that was the end of it. Grace would listen to no more arguments from Angie. So Mittens it is.

The cat is extremely lovable. He likes to climb up on your lap, your chest, your shoulders. Problem is, sometimes he chooses to do this at inopportune times, like when I was reassembling Balin's bed after moving it from our room to Megan's old bedroom. While I was talking to Angie on the phone today he lept onto Angie's shoulder while she was on the computer. In bed last night, he decided that he needed to step on my face quite often. From 4:30am on we fought with the rotten little cat, who insisted on rubbing it's face against ours, purring as he did so. I've never been overly loved to death, but the cat is making a run at it.

I think this little kitty will do well at our house. Balin loves it and laughs all the time when he's around him. Gracie too has a kinship with the cat already and is fully and madly in love with it. Even Angie has found a deeper appreciation for it (she admitted while I talked to her today). I like the cat but can't help but think that with this pet, I've lost the opportunity to replace my beloved Hughie, who I miss deeply on a daily basis. I know that I will have a hound dog again someday, but I know it won't be until after Mittens has left us.

Anyways, we have entered in the new world of cat ownership. I look forward to it. I look forward to watching my kids grow up with a pet. It means a lot to watch their interactions.

Hopefully I can post a few pictures soon. I'll keep you all updated.

Our Labor Day Weekend

It felt so good getting out of work on Friday knowing that I had a long weekend away from work. I couldn't wait for it to get started. I had the intentions of leaving work early on Friday but decided to stay as I had an appointment to get my hair cut at about 4:30, so it would do me no good getting out early as I really didn't have anything to do.

I ended up meeting Angie at her sister's shop to get my hair cut and because I was the first one there, got in the chair first. She showed up with the kids not long afterwards and kept me company while Beth chopped my overgrown mop. My hair looks a lot better, but I've started growing my beard again so overall I'm pretty scraggly right now. I'll like it a lot more once my beard comes in, but for now I have to contend with the itching and the scrubby look I'm sporting.

Friday we didn't do too much. Russ and Carol came over and we ordered pizza. Megan made it home around 6:30 and spent the evening with us. It was nice to see her and hear all about school. She had a long weekend to spend with us and headed back this afternoon (she had yesterday off and has no classes on Tuesdays). After four days with us I was glad she was going back. More on that later.

Saturday Grace had a birthday party she was invited to. We had been invited as well as it was held at a local ice cream parlor. We went and while it was a bit boring at times, we stayed and had some ice cream. Actually Balin was the one that made a splash. He hogged down a whole bowl of ice cream as well as an entire cup cake and still seemed hungry. That little guy can eat!

Sunday we were invited up to Hamilton Lake to a friend's house for a cookout. All of us went, including Megan and we had a great time. Paul and Dorothy are the parents of Angie's best friend Michelle. Ang has always had a close relationship with them and it was nice to see them again. They live right on the lake and have a speedboat. Megan insisted on trying to ski. She made several attempts but was never able to get on her feet. A lot of that had to do with all the boat traffic on the lake, which served to make the water very choppy. We all had a good time though. Megan told us that Caleb was coming up to Hamilton and would pick her up at 6:30 at a gas station in town. While we didn't really want to leave, Balin was really tired and we figured we'd drop Megan off on our way out of town. We were surprised to see all the cars at a little restaurant down the road. Didn't seem like it would draw that much traffic on a Sunday, but it did. Come to find out, Democratic Presidential Election convoy, including Barack Obama and Joe Biden had stopped in the little restaurant! Had I known that I would have taken my camera, Grace and Megan down the street and met him. I would love to have a picture of the kids with him. I'd want to pass the pictures down to them as they got older so they could say that they met the future (hopefully) President of the United States. Alas, another missed opportunity in life.

Monday was a bit of a recovery day. It was very hot and I really didn't want to go anywhere or do anything, so we just stayed home. I was able to get a lot of reading done. I've recently picked up The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett. It is one of those books that is pretty imposing with a very unassuming cover and a ton of pages (close to 1000). Books like that can either be a blessing or a bore. I typically don't pick up a new author unless I've heard a lot about him/her and know a good deal about what the book is about. I've always had this thing for stone masonry and considering this book is about just that, and the building of the cathedral at Kingsbridge, I decided to go to the local used books store and pick this up at the bargain price of $9.99. So far so good. I'm about 175 pages in and really can't get enough. Once I finish I will give it a much more thorough review. I'll go so far as to recommend the story already, so if that is enough, pick up the book and start reading. It's a good one.

Okay, so back to Megan. She is really starting to concern me. About a month ago she broke up with Caleb. Well, right before she left for college she started spending more time with him. It wasn't a big deal. She met him at the mall for lunch, or went ot Target wiht him. The day she left for college she met him for breakfast which resulted in a great deal of blubbering from her as she pined about how much she was goiong to miss him and all that noise. Remember now, they are just friends now.

Well, Friday night, at 10:00 she had him come over to visit. I was playing on the computer when Angie went to bed around 11:30 and when I went out to get a drink Megan was curled up beside him on the couch, his arm around her, all the lights off while they watched TV. Okay, no big deal.

Saturday Megan was bored, so at around 7:00 she told us she was going out to Woodburn to sit with Caleb while he worked. She got home around 10:30. Again, not a big deal.

As I mentioned earlier, on Sunday he drove up to Hamilton to meet Megan and take her up to his property where his whole family was getting together for a cookout. She was with him until about 12:30am. Again, not a big deal.

Yesterday she told Angie that she wouldn't be having dinner with us because Caleb was taking her out to dinner at the Olive Garden. Just an innocent dinner, not a big deal.

Well, I think the whole of the weekend IS a big deal, and I made sure Megan knew it. I told her that she needed to get her head back in the game, that this thing with Caleb was starting to get out of control. She had already admitted that while at school she called him everyday. When I told her I was concerned she yelled at me and said, "Fine, do you want me to never talk to him again?!? We're just friends. Can't I hang out with my friends?!?"

Well, this bothered me. I told her that she was letting her heart get in the way and she did not have the time or the resources to commit to serious relationship while going to school 100 miles away. It scares to death to think that he is going to capsize her schooling. He needs to give her some space and let her go to school. I told Angie that if he can't be more hands off, then I am going to talk with him. Problem is, I don't think Megan would ever forgive me if I did.

I'm just so afraid she is going to tank in college because she isn't giving it all that it deserves. I've lived that before. When I first started seeing Jennifer in college, and she broke it off wiht me the first time my grades went right in the tank. I think I had a 2.11 GPA that semester. And that was while living on the same campus as her! Megan is thinking like a 19 year old, and my counsel just doesn't carry any weight. I hope that I'm not watching a train wreck unfold. I guess I will know if she shows up at home within the next few weeks. I've told her that she needs to put some time in down there and I don't expect to see her for awhile. I guess we'll see if she can stay away.

I talked to Angie today and she signed Gracie up for CCD classes. They start tomorrow and run every Wednesday night for an hour and a half. I have a feeling that is going to be a disaster. Gracie is a ball of energy and she has no patience for going to church. I guess they start their first class with a mass and I can tell you right now that this will cement Gracie's disposition towards CCD. Grace is a lot like me. She's a free thinker and not prone to except the ritualistic structure of the Catholic faith. I hate seeing her subjected to the regime, but unfortunately I accepted this when I signed the papers saying I would raise my children as Catholics. I hope I don't offend the Catholics who read this, but I find the CCD classes as akin to brainwashing and I hate to see my Gracie, my precious little girl subjected to the forced ideals of that religion. I've always thought the the Catholic faith was more about the ritual than it is about God, and I hate to see Gracie become part of that machine. I want her to go to church to soak in the feeling of pure relief and comfort that can be felt. Not to practice the ritualistic calisthenics forced into her head by the zombies that learned it before her.

I suppose that Grace will rebel if it is something she truly hates. If she likes it, then I'm happy for her, but if she doesn't I will use this as my opening to introduce a counterplan. I would love to be able to consistently attend the Methodist church down the street, and with their Sunday school program, have a chance of convincing Angie that she can learn about her faith and I can start going to church consistently at the same time. I knwo I would never get Angie to change, but I have a chance of building in Gracie a faith that I can accept and follow.

And for all of those out there that have ever questioned my faith, I don't go to church now not because I don't believe in God, but because I can't sit in church and listen to the Catholic doctrine without being sickened by the elitism of the church. I am uncomfortable with it, I don't like it and I told myself that I am not going to subjugate myself to something I don't like just because I need to put on a show for others. Furthermore, I would go to the Methodist church myself, but I know Gracie would want to follow me there and if I allowed that there would be a huge amount of protest in my house. I don't want that either.

Anyways, enough about religion.

I guess I've probably said enough. I've got anohter 30 minutes before I go home, so I should get some stuff done. More later. I'm sure of that.