Gracie's Recital

Saturday was Gracie's big performance. I was the first time she got to show off her ballet skills for everyone. We were surprised when we got there and found out just how many acts there were. I would have to say that there were about three different numbers performed by kids ranging from age 2 to 18. It was a combination of two different school participating. Gracie had six girls in her class.

We really enjoyed watching all the kids. It was amazing the range of styles that they showcased. There was ballet, tap, hip hop, and even a group of cloggers. It was really interesting to watch. I just wish that we could have found a sitter for Balin. Angie and I split time going outside with him so he could walk around and play rather than sit there and whine.

Gracie hadn't been feeling well when we went. Her stomach had been hurting her. We thought it was nerves, though she said she wasn't nervous. I was praying that she didn't get stage fright like she did at the Young Author's Convention. She didn't, in fact, she was a natural. She said she enjoyed dancing and wanted to be in two classes next year. This is one of those things you really hope your kids stick with. Gracie is a beautiful dancer and was kind of a leader for her class. When you watch the video you will see some of the other little girls watch her.

I hope you enjoy the video. I know we loved watching her in person. Gracie is the third girl from the left. Oh, and another thing, the students were supposed to twirl off stage at the conclusion of the show. Watch and you'll understand what I'm talking about.

Profile: Monica

I was introduced to Monica twenty-two years ago when she came over to my Dad's house for Brian's graduation party. I happy to say that even after all those years, including her marriage and divorce from my brother, Monica remains part of my family.

I was a bit leery of Mona when I first met her. Maybe it was jealousy, after all she was demanding an awful lot of time from my brother. I knew that he was going off to college in the Fall and while I would never admit, I wasn't altogether happy about him leaving. When she came around I lost some of the valuable time I had always been able to spend with Brian. Nevertheless there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it.

Over the next year I got to know Monica a lot better. In fact, she became quite the fixture in our lives when she became pregnant with Brandon and moved in to our house. I really enjoyed having her around. I still remember one particular moment that I got to spend with Mona. She had decided to run up to Ann Arbor to see Brian for some reason and asked if I wanted to go with her. I decided to and am really happy I did. I learned that Monica was a very complex and emotional person, that her love for Brian was very genuine. I remember as we drove off exit 172 in Ann Arbor the song "Missing You" coming on the radio and it being her favorite song, singing it with Monica. I felt a real connection with her then, one that I still feel today.

Monica has been around my family since those early days, first living with us, then living in close proximity as she and Brian purchased a house a mere two blocks from my parents. I've always been happy about their decision to do that. It made it possible for me to remain close to my brother, Brandon and Monica. I still like going over and visiting her when we come in to town.

Monica is a good person. She has not had it easy, yet she has persevered through some tough times, and done so with incredible resiliency. She is incredibly forgiving, incredibly loving (and it shows in how she interacts with her son), and very determined.

It is weird the effect some people have on you, like there are certain situations that effect you. My kids are the most important people in my life. I like sharing them with others. I love seeing my mom hold Balin, or Kevin talking with Grace about school. Then there is Monica. I can't really explain it, but I can't think of another person I would rather have spending time with Gracie and Balin. It is strange, but I feel compelled to bring my children to her, to show them off to her, to have them interact with her. I feel good when she is holding one of them, or speaking to them, or playing with them. I can't explain it. Maybe it's because Monica is so good around kids. I don't think so. I think it is just the fact that Monica is a safe person, one that I know would throw herself in front of a bus for my kids. She is the perfect aunt, one I would love for my kids to grow up around. If something was to happen to my family and there was no one of direct relation to care for my kids, I would want Monica to take them. One thing that I can assure you about her: she is a wonderful mother who blankets her family in love. That is important to me and I believe one of the reasons I feel such a strong connection to her.

I don't get to see Mona very much these days. I was lucky enough a couple ot years ago to have her come down to our new house and stay with us for a weekend. I enjoyed that time. We were able to talk and relax around each other again. I remember running down to the local coffee shop and getting a cappachino on a cold fall evening. We sat at home on the couch, our feet propped up talking late into the night. I tried to explain to Brandon the importance of his schooling and working towards accomplishing a personal goal in life. Monica thanked me for talking to him and that meant a lot to me. I've always felt that I could be both candid and comfortable around Mona. She makes me feel welcome in a conversation and shares with me a kinship that goes beyond that of just being an in-law or ex-in-law as this is. Regardless of what Monica's and my relationship is, I will always hold her dear to me. Our relationship may be called something else, but to me Monica will always be a sister, one that I can rely on, can talk to and can be proud to have in my family.

Something to Concern Yourself About (especially if you have smaller children)

You know, life is complicated enough. There are so many things that I worry about: Am I going to be late for work, did I bring enough money to pay for everything I need, are my kids happy? There are just so many things. Now, as if I didn't have enough to worry about, I read this story from the Atlanta Journal Constitution (reprinted at this link by Medicalnewstoday.com).

It seems there was a 10 year old boy in South Carolina, who went to the local pool with his family. He swam for awhile without any problems other than admittedly having an accident and peeing in the pool. Not a big deal (though a bit nasty). The boy and his family walked home. When they got there the mother gave the boy a bath where the boy complained of being tired. After his bath he went and laid down for a nap. When one of the adults checked on him they found that he had drowned. Yeah, I said drowned. He suffered from a malady called Dry Drowning where he took water in his lungs at the pool and without knowing it, suffocated an hour later. This thing scares the hell out of me. My kids love the pool and I know each of them have gulped in at least a mouthful or more of water. In the case of this boy, the water went into his lungs and prohibited him from getting enough oxygen, leading to his death. The bad thing about this is that there are very few signs that would point to this condition.

The main symptom is tiredness. Well let me tell you, after a long day at the pool my kids are always ready to lay down and relax, taking a nap if possible. The other thing is behavior. The doctors in this story said that the child urinating in the pool should have been a clue that something was wrong. Needless to say, this is something I would have never noticed.

I don't have a whole lot more to say. I think this story is very interesting. All I can really say is keep and eye on your kids. It is possible for them to suffer this condition in their bathtub after injesting water. The story just points to the fact that you really need to be cognizant of your child's condition at all times. Watch them, constantly evaluate them, make sure they are okay. I know when we are at the pool I will keep a much closer eye on Grace and Balin.

Corpse: Submission #10

This, of course, is submission #10 of my story, Corpse. I liked the way the story was flowing up until this point. I've read over the additional 15 or 16 pages I have and decided I am going to a rewrite as I really don't like the next chapter. I am also looking at changing my writing style a bit (thanks Mary B. for the suggestions and candid criticism). That said, it may take me a bit of time to get the next sections written. I really hope you've enjoyed what I've written up to this point. I know I had a good time writing it and hope to continue with it. I really don't think that this is going to end up a book that gets published, but I certainly hope I can learn something about the process and use it to further my writing abilities with the overall goal of eventually having something put to print. Okay, that's it from me. Hope you enjoy this most recent submission and as always, feedback is welcome.

Jonathon put the car in reverse, and backed blindly out of the parking spot. He put the car in drive and hunching forward, peeked out the small defrosted spot in the glass before punching the gas and roaring out of the parking lot.

He decided he would take the back roads home, figuring he could get the car up to speed without worry about police and avoiding the heavy truck traffic that cursed this particular stretch of the expressway between here and his place.

The little sports car hummed along at seventy-five along the tree lined road, fence posts and farm house zipping by as he headed east. There was relatively little traffic on the county roads and that which got in front of him was quickly passed and left in the rearview.

The window was starting to defrost pretty well when he eclipsed a hill and saw the lights of an oncoming cargo van. Pressing the brakes slightly, Jonathon wrinkled his brow and wondered what the opposing driver was all about when the guy flipped his headlights on and off.

Jonathon looked down to see if he had inadvertently left his brights on as he had come up over the hill but immediately noticed that the little light green in the corner of the control panel was off. He barely had time to look up when a small herd of deer numbering eight or nine crossed the road in front of him.

The little sports car slammed into a small doe at seventy miles and hour, the aerodynamics of the car throwing the animal into the air. Jonathon tried to avoid another one, a much larger buck that had simply stopped in the middle of the road. As he twisted the wheel to the left, the back end of the car came around and he began to spin out.

While the accident seemed to take forever to play out, it was a mere second before the little car crossed the center line, went down into the ditched and started to roll. The tumble was very short lived when while upside down, the driver’s side door slammed violently into a great oak tree growing beside the road. The car twisted around the tree and Jonathon’s body absorbed the impact. Glass from the broken windows exploded all over him and a great pain erupted from his left hip as a shard of twisted metal stabbed into his hip. The crumpled roof slammed down into his head when the car had flipped over and it didn’t take long for Jonathon to lose consciousness, bleeding profusely while still strapped in and hanging upside down inside his now unrecognizable Crossfire.

A passing motorist saw the results of the accident and immediately called 911 to report it. It took about fifteen minutes for the responders to actually reach the crash scene and many more to cut Jonathon out of the wreckage. When they finally got him out and laid him out on a sheet of plastic on the side of the road, Jonathon was barely alive, blood having poured out of the deep puncture wound on his left side.

“This guy is a mess Pete,” a female paramedic in her fifties told her partner. “I’m not sure he is going to make it, he’s lost a ton of blood and we still don’t know how serious this head injury is.”

“Well, let’s get him into the wagon and back to U of M,” her partner responded, adjusting a gurney that the attendants had just pulled from the nearby ambulance.

Within moments Jonathon was strapped down and loaded into the back of the bright yellow emergency vehicle. Traffic in both directions was stopped and curious onlookers stood beside their cars trying to get a glimpse of the scene. A bloody body of the unlucky doe had been dragged to the side of the road, secondary to the crumpled remains of the speedy sports car that still lay twisted around the unyielding tree.

Inside the ambulance, the attendants went to work on Jonathon, trying to stabilize him and staunch the prolific flow of blood. The heart monitor beeped steadily, evidence that their patient was still holding on to life. In the background the scream of the ambulance sirens blared, the vehicle bounding back down the same road Jonathon had just careened down on his dash to get back home so he could make it in to work on time.

Two minutes out from the University Hospital Jonathon flat-lined, his heart stopping leading to a steady tone from the ambulance heart monitor. The attendants flew into action, beginning CPR and trying to bring Jonathon back. He was dead, but they weren’t going to call it until they did everything they could to bring him back.

Obama Wins Nomination

It seems like this primary season has gone on forever, but after 54 separate contests, Senator Obama now has enough delegates to lay claim to the Democratic Presidential nomination. If feels good day, knowing that the person that represents the Democratic party is one that I can stand behind. In all likelihood I would have voted for Hillary Clinton in the November election, but I would not have been happy about it. She is a self-absorbed woman who has an agenda that is based on her own need for personal accomplishment over what is good for the nation. If you have reason to believe otherwise, then simply ask this question: "Why hasn't she conceded the nomination yet?"

Hillary hasn't given up because she still aspires to be President someday and "prove" to the world she can do it. It isn't about proving anything to anyone. It is about serving the country to the fullest. It should never be about your own personal gains. I have no respect for that woman for what she has done to splinter the Democratic party and to put herself before the people of the country. Now it seems one of the reasons she hasn't conceded the election is that she wants to broker a deal that would make her Vice-President. I'm sure the the idea behind that is in eight years she would be in the best position to take over the Presidency following Obama's tenure. Again, it is Hillary being the power hungry, out to prove something monster she has portrayed all election long. Need less to say, I'm not a big fan.

I'm not going to ramble anymore, just to say that Obama has shown the vision and charisma missing from the office of President since Kennedy in the 60s. Maybe once in a lifetime a leader comes a long that shocks the nation, that stands in the face of "typical politics" and says we've had enough. We are in a very tumultuous period and we need significant change in how we do things. Hillary was the epitome of her husbands "prosperity of the 90s ideals" while John McCain is the successor to Bush and carrier of the stagnant Republican policies we've suffered through for 8 years. Obama brings change; good solid change that may or may not work. Yet he is not standing pat (like McCain) or regurgitating old ideas (like Hillary). He may succeed or he may fail, but we do know that Obama, if elected, will work towards a better end, I'm looking forward to the November elections.

Family Update

I know I haven't written in about a week and I apologize. It has gotten hectic here at work and considering this is where I do most of my writing, I have had a bit of a lapse. Hopefully I can get back to it.

I wanted to update everyone on how the kids are doing. Balin is eating us out of house and home and continues to grow. He is a big kid for only being 16 months old. He still isn't walking yet. I joke that I want him to be a baseball player but he isn't going to make too many teams I'f I'm out there picking him up and carrying him to first base after he hits the ball.

The little guy is showing signs that he is about ready to walk. We know he can do it. He actually walked all the way across the living room the other day without assistance but he is still too tentative to let go and just start walking on his own. Angie and I have made a point of working with him every day, coaxing him to take more steps. One positive, he has stopped crying when he falls down. Instead he is now laughing. Granted he refuses to get back up and try again after falling, but at least it isn't a traumatic event when he does fall.

Balin has been loving it outside. He goes out everyday. Angie made the mistake of taking him and one of his little walker toys out in the cul de sac the other day and now that is the first place he heads when he gets outside. It is much flatter ground than out sloping driveway so he likes to beebop around there. It doesn't help that Grace goes out there and rides her bike or scooter. He loves his big sister and enjoys playing with her.

Speaking of Grace, she is officially out of school and now joins the ranks of the 1st grade. She was sad when school got out because she loved her teacher and doesn't want a new one next fall. I was impressed by how well Gracie did this year in school. We had a little trepidation because she was such a young kindergartner but she is a smart little girl and did very well. More impressive was how she met so many friends and learned to be more social without being so bossy. She is going to miss school this summer. Already she is planning play dates with her friends (she has one this afternoon). Hopefully we will be able to have her first sleepover with a friend sometime this summer as well. I know she'll enjoy that as long as I can get them to sleep.

Gracie's ballet recital is Saturday night. I guess the whole routine is only about three minutes long so I shouldn't have much problem recording all of it with my digital camera so I can post it here for everyone to see. She had her last practice yesterday and I guess they are ready to go. It should be fun watching her perform for the first time. She is such a princess and watching her dance confirms it. I think she is going to end up being a performer sometime in her life. I would love for her to take up singing when she gets older. I love listening to her sing even now. It melts my heart.

Megan is done with her freshman year of college and has started working fulltime in preparation of leaving to go to Ball State in the fall. We don't see much of her, but when we do it is nice to have her around. I'm going to enjoy going on vacation with her as it means we'll get to spend a great deal of time with her before she leaves for college the third week of August. We've warned her that Balin will be moving in to her bedroom when she leaves and she seems cool with that as long as she has somewhere to sleep when she comes home. We are planning on leaving her bed in there, just moving the little guy's crib in so we can have some space in our room.

Angie is still looking for a job. It is getting close to crunch time as her unemployement is about to run out. She is aware of the deadline and is a bit stressed out. Hopefully she'll find something soon. In the meantime she has been doing a lot of scrapbooking. Her books are looking very good and she is improving each time she goes and works on them. It is nice that she has a hobby that she enjoys. Doubly nice is the fact that Megan does scrapbooking too, so they can go together and spend time with each other. I've always though that it is important to have one-on-one time with your parents.

I'm doing okay. My job is incredibly stressful right now. Home life is a bit stressful as well. I've got a lot on my mind and I don't sleep well these days. I usually toss and turn for an hour or so when I go to bed before I fall asleep. I'll do that for 3 or 4 days in a row then have one night where exhaustion just takes hold and I crash hard. I've started season 3 of my Warmachine League on Thursday nights and have been enjoying that even though it keeps me out late. It is a very nice distraction, something I need once in awhile.

So, that's about it; a quick update on the family and me. Since its been so long since I've written I will be posting some more stuff later today including another submission of Corpse as well as some other ramblings. Thanks for reading.

Profile: Bill Hill

Let me let this sink in for a moment: I've known Bill Hill for twenty-five years now. Twenty-five. That hardly seems possible. Where do I begin with this profile?

Bill has been around me for a long time and during this period has seemingly reinvented himself over and over again. He has always been a good guy, but over the years he has become someone that I admire beyond most people.

First off, my dad, Jerry is a good person who I look up to. I'll get to his profile later, but I say this because I think it is important to point out that while my parents were divorced and I only saw my dad every other weekend growing up, he did everything he could to raise me in our limited time together. That said, Bill stepped in, particularing in my later years (high school and beyond) and taught me how to be a man. An incredible amount of credit should go to him for that. While he faced a great deal of his own issues, Bill has always presented to me a figure who could be emulated. He has always been someone who treated other people the way they deserved to be treated, and that is with respect until they prove themself otherwise.

Bill has always been fairly quiet, usually taking a secondary role to my mom, but he does so with purpose. When he does speak he does so with a wisdom born from a difficult life with a world of experience. I treasure his conversations and his words to me have always held a tremendous value.

I met Bill when I was 14 years old, just moving back to Jackson from Texas. I had no idea who the guy my mom was with was, but he was easy to like from the get go. He was full of adventurous stories and I fed off of what he had to say. We was a man that seemed to have been born from the earth and introduced me to experiences that I doubt I would have had an opportunity to enjoy. I remember going out mushroom hunting on cool spring mornings and the taste of them later in the day when he would fry them up. I remember how cool and calm he remained when I cut my throat open on a barbed wire fence while riding a bicycle. He told me later on that he was very worried that I had cut my juglar vein, but even through that he displayed a calmness that serves as an example to me even today. I remember him coming to pick me at school and him and my mom telling me that my dog Jackson had been killed by a car. I know that it hurt him to tell me, that it hurt him to take care of Jackson's remains before I got home, but he has always been a stoic figure that would offer any support he ever could and never let emotion get the best of him. That is he never would except once...

I have a lot of things to be proud of in my life. I've done well for myself. I've got a great family, beautiful children. But the day I was able to bring Tammy and Bill together after such a long time stands out as one of the best things I've ever been able to do for another person.

I was in Junior Acheivement while a freshman at Western H.S. Each week I would go down to the JA building on Mechanic St. in downtown Jackson for weekly meetings. Bill and Mom would always take me down there and typically both would come to pick me up. In J.A. you sell stock to get seed money for a company that each group created. With this money you would buy materials, build a product and sell it with the profits getting returned to the stock holders at the end of the year.

My first year I had 5 stock certificates to sell and sold one of them to Bill. It just so happens that Bill's daughter, Tammy was one of the officers in our company and saw Bill's name on the stock. She hadn't seen her dad in Lord knows how long, eight years maybe? Anyway, she asked me if I saw Bill very often and I told her that he was picking me up that night. I told Tammy that I would happily introduce her to him later that night.

When our meeting was over Tammy and I went outside and I told Bill I wanted to introduce him to someone. He got out of the car and I simply told him, "Bill, this is your daughter Tammy." I remember how he immediately hugged her and just held on to her crying. It was the first time I saw such an incredible amount of emotion from him. It also showed me that a father's love for his child never wanes, that regardless of distance, or time, it is always there. I remember feeling so jubilant that day. Even today I remember that night and rejoice in the fact that I was in the right place at the right time. I can't say that I learned this just from him, as my mom has had a huge say in how I treat my kids, but I will say that he has provided reason for me to tell my kids I love them everyday, to show them affection that they will grow with and take with them into adulthood.

Bill has made plenty of mistakes through his life, but with those mistakes have come lessons that I have learned. I know how addiction can take you over and how much fight it takes to overcome it. I have learned that when things get bad, you never, ever give up. Bill has had terrible accidents which he has come back from. He has faced financial issues that would buckle the willpower of other men. He has been afflicted with cancer, and even when he stood on death's door he fought it and came back from it. I have no doubt that Bill Hill is by far the strongest man I have ever had the pleasure to have known.

While I have learned a lot from him, there is one thing about Bill that I value more than anything. I value the companionship is has brought my mom. My mom is a very strong person, I think she has proved that when I was just a little kid. Yet my mom is a person that needs, no, deserves a compliment to her. Bill is that compliment. I learned that in Bill my mom has found a perfect match. God paired my mom with Bill there is no doubt in my mind. The diversity that each of them has had to face is testament to this fact, yet through all the turmoil, all the difficulty both have endured, they have found one another and found a love that serves as an example to all couples. They don't have a story like Romeo and Juliet, yet their love is a epic as any found in literature. They are a matched pair that fit perfectly together and everytime I see them together it brings a happiness to me that I can't explain. I've seen times in my mom's life when she has been steeped in misery and the gift of companionship that Bill has given to her means so much to me.

I said in an earlier post that Brian, my brother, is my best friend, yet that friendship is born from growing up together. My friendship with Bill is so different, yet so much stronger than even that between my brother and I. Bill has done more than just offered his friendship, he took upon him a duty to help my mother raise me to be the man I am today. How could I ever think to repay him for this?

I'll finish by saying that when Bill was sick with pneumonia, not long after his cancer surgery we came up from Indiana for a summer get together. Bill was in pretty bad shape. He didn't even know that we were there, let alone know who we were. I don't think I have ever told him, or my mom this, but I went in the house while Bill was sitting in his chair. I wasn't sure if he was asleep or not, but I sat down to talk to him. I remember telling him that he needed to get better, that he needed to eat something, to stop losing weight. I remember how horrible I felt, thinking that I was talking to my friend for the last time. I felt so helpless, seeing him so sick. I remember crying as I held his hand, begging him to get better, to heal so he could be there for me. It was so selfish of me to think of myself like that. I knew that in that moment my love for Bill was as strong as that which any child could have for his father. Needless to say I thank God for what he has done, for bringing Bill back when he had been so far gone.

Bill, all I am going to say in closing is that I appreciate you beyond what even these words can convey. Thank you for everything you have done for me, you have shown me, and you have taught me. I would not have become the man I have become had it not been for you. You forever have my love and respect.