Profile: Monica

I was introduced to Monica twenty-two years ago when she came over to my Dad's house for Brian's graduation party. I happy to say that even after all those years, including her marriage and divorce from my brother, Monica remains part of my family.

I was a bit leery of Mona when I first met her. Maybe it was jealousy, after all she was demanding an awful lot of time from my brother. I knew that he was going off to college in the Fall and while I would never admit, I wasn't altogether happy about him leaving. When she came around I lost some of the valuable time I had always been able to spend with Brian. Nevertheless there wasn't a whole lot I could do about it.

Over the next year I got to know Monica a lot better. In fact, she became quite the fixture in our lives when she became pregnant with Brandon and moved in to our house. I really enjoyed having her around. I still remember one particular moment that I got to spend with Mona. She had decided to run up to Ann Arbor to see Brian for some reason and asked if I wanted to go with her. I decided to and am really happy I did. I learned that Monica was a very complex and emotional person, that her love for Brian was very genuine. I remember as we drove off exit 172 in Ann Arbor the song "Missing You" coming on the radio and it being her favorite song, singing it with Monica. I felt a real connection with her then, one that I still feel today.

Monica has been around my family since those early days, first living with us, then living in close proximity as she and Brian purchased a house a mere two blocks from my parents. I've always been happy about their decision to do that. It made it possible for me to remain close to my brother, Brandon and Monica. I still like going over and visiting her when we come in to town.

Monica is a good person. She has not had it easy, yet she has persevered through some tough times, and done so with incredible resiliency. She is incredibly forgiving, incredibly loving (and it shows in how she interacts with her son), and very determined.

It is weird the effect some people have on you, like there are certain situations that effect you. My kids are the most important people in my life. I like sharing them with others. I love seeing my mom hold Balin, or Kevin talking with Grace about school. Then there is Monica. I can't really explain it, but I can't think of another person I would rather have spending time with Gracie and Balin. It is strange, but I feel compelled to bring my children to her, to show them off to her, to have them interact with her. I feel good when she is holding one of them, or speaking to them, or playing with them. I can't explain it. Maybe it's because Monica is so good around kids. I don't think so. I think it is just the fact that Monica is a safe person, one that I know would throw herself in front of a bus for my kids. She is the perfect aunt, one I would love for my kids to grow up around. If something was to happen to my family and there was no one of direct relation to care for my kids, I would want Monica to take them. One thing that I can assure you about her: she is a wonderful mother who blankets her family in love. That is important to me and I believe one of the reasons I feel such a strong connection to her.

I don't get to see Mona very much these days. I was lucky enough a couple ot years ago to have her come down to our new house and stay with us for a weekend. I enjoyed that time. We were able to talk and relax around each other again. I remember running down to the local coffee shop and getting a cappachino on a cold fall evening. We sat at home on the couch, our feet propped up talking late into the night. I tried to explain to Brandon the importance of his schooling and working towards accomplishing a personal goal in life. Monica thanked me for talking to him and that meant a lot to me. I've always felt that I could be both candid and comfortable around Mona. She makes me feel welcome in a conversation and shares with me a kinship that goes beyond that of just being an in-law or ex-in-law as this is. Regardless of what Monica's and my relationship is, I will always hold her dear to me. Our relationship may be called something else, but to me Monica will always be a sister, one that I can rely on, can talk to and can be proud to have in my family.