The Weekend Cometh (and more Wyatt)

It has been a horribly long week. They sprung some nasty news on us at work and with my audit next week I'm under an incredible amount of stress. It seems that our company is in jeopardy of folding by the end of the month if something can't happen. On top of that they are planning on laying off 15% of the salaried workforce on a permanent basis starting a week from today. Hopefully I'm not one of the cuts. If I am I'm not sure what I'm going to do. The job prospects in Fort Wayne are severely limited.

This weekend we are taking Gracie to Libby Lou's for a makeover. Libby Lou's is the consummate little princess shop. You can overdose on pink just walking in the store. For like $30 you can take a girl in there, have her hair done up (including adding extensions if you so choose) makeup, nails and all that stuff. It's like a spa for 6-9 year olds. She's been dying to go and now they are going out of business so we decided to get her in. Everything is 30% off, so that is a good thing.

We need to do some Christmas shopping as well. Hopefully we can pin down a sitter for Saturday so we can get some stuff purchased. Time is running out.

Okay, back to Wyatt. I haven't done anything more with the editing but hope to read over some stuff this weekend. I would like to have the whole process completed by next week. Let's hope I can accomplish that. Over Christmas break I may think about starting a new book. This one will be written at my pace and heavy thought out. I really need to start brainstorming plots. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know. Anyway, here is the next section of Wyatt. Hope you like it.

CHAPTER 12: DECISION

The bus was packed and loaded at five o’clock in the morning on Sunday. Those who were making the trip waited until the last possible moment to show up and were all working against one another to shove their luggage into the storage area under the motor coach. The driver sat indifferently at the wheel, looking over an atlas as if this was the first time he had considered where they were heading.
Wyatt had been the first one to arrive and waited patiently outside the bus, looking for Alex. A few minutes later he caught sight of her dragging a pull along suitcase across the sidewalk. She had the hood of her sweatshirt pulled up but Wyatt could tell it was her from her walk. She didn’t look up as he ran out to meet her.
“Good morning!” she shouted as her approached her.
“Not particularly. There is nothing good about five o’clock unless it involves sleep,” she grumbled in reply.
He pulled the backpack off her shoulder and took the handle of her suitcase so he could drag it the last thirty yards to the bus.
“We’re in the second set of seats on the right hand side. You can have the window if you want it,” he offered.
“Make sure you bring my backpack,” she returned, seemingly indifferent to his choice of seats.
He went on to load her luggage while trudged up the steps, mumbling under her breath. When he was finished he climbed on the bus, only to find Alex already in her seat, her head resting against the window, her eyes closed.
Wyatt tucked her backpack in the overhead and sat down beside her, “Are you ready for this?”
“I’m not ready for anything but to go back to bed,” she mumbled.
“Well, we’ll be leaving any minute and they’ll turn the lights out. You should be able to get some rest,” he offered with little consolation.
Dr. Swanson was the last person to get on the bus. He took a few minutes to explain the itinerary for the trip out and take attendance. When everyone had been accounted for, he too settled into his seat and with a hiss of brakes being released, the bus lurched forward into the morning.
They cut through the city with practically no traffic on their way to the interstate. By the time they hit it Alex was complaining about how uncomfortable she was.
“I brought my pillow if you want to use it,” Wyatt offered, hoping to appease her.
“Yes,” was her only reply.
He stood up and retrieved it from the overhead compartment before sitting down and handing it to her. She took it silently. Wyatt showed her how to recline her seat and after three or four attempts to get comfortable failed she finally ended up placing the pillow on Wyatt’s shoulder and leaned against him.
Wyatt smiled as he closed his eyes, leaned his head on the pillow they now shared too, and went to sleep as well.

At about eight o’clock Wyatt woke up and found Alex still sleeping. The sky was pale and gray, covered with a low layer of clouds that clung like heavy curtains. He could see Alex clearly now. Her hands were pulled up inside her navy sweatshirt. She wore pink Hello Kitty flannel pajama bottoms and heavy wool socks. She had kicked off her shoes earlier to make herself more comfortable and they lay on the floor, kicked beneath the seat in front of them.
Her face was plain and void of the makeup she had worn two days earlier when they had went out to dinner. Wyatt realized what a rare opportunity this was; to see this woman, this close without her knowing. He cherished his chance to stare at her, to look at her feature singularly, taking in each part of her face. He looked at her long eyelashes and marveled at the symmetrical curve each one shared. He looked at her nose, slightly oversized but wonderful in its unique appearance. He stared at the fine white hairs, normally invisible that grew above her upper lip.
Wyatt was amazed at how beautiful she had become over the months that he had known her. He flaws had completely disappeared and he realized that while others would perhaps question his judgment, he felt he was looking upon the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.
It was if she knew he was staring at her because she started coming awake. Wyatt sat back and took his eyes off her, disappointed that his moment to examine her was gone, but glad she was waking so he could talk with her.
She stretched her arms above her head, hampered by the top of the overhead, and yawned, “What time is it”
“Just a few minutes past eight,” he answered. “Did you sleep well?”
“It’s still too early,” she replied, “but yeah. Thanks for your pillow.”
“No problem. You didn’t drool on it did you?” he joked.
“You could only hope,” she replied, running her hands through and scratching her head as she pushed her hood back.
“You know where we’re at?” she asked him, looking at the miles of flat, non-descript landscape.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure we are getting pretty close to Ohio. Should be leaving Indiana really soon.”
That chatted for a few minutes, Alex finally agreeing to share a package of chocolate Pop-Tarts after listening to Wyatt’s arguments proclaiming their merits. They laughed as they munched on their breakfast, Wyatt teasing Alex over her complete indifference to the trip (mostly based on the ungodly decision to leave at five AM) and her chiding him over his puppy dog like excitement about going “bye-bye”.
Wyatt’s promise to himself to be productive and get a bunch of reading done was lost for most of the trip. He found that he would rather watch the movie playing on the bus’ video monitors or sit and talk with Alex as the miles rolled past. It was one of those days where the trip was excessively long, but neither of them truly minded it. Maybe it was because they were excited about getting to Washington, maybe it was the company. Regardless, it was an enjoyable trip.
At about three o’clock Alex yawned, “Hey Wyatt, let me borrow your pillow again. I want to take a nap.”
He pulled his pillow from beside him and handed it to her, “Haven’t you slept enough today?”
“I can never get enough sleep,” she answered, fluffy the pillow and positioning it back on Wyatt’s shoulder as she had earlier.
“Well, I’m going to finish watching this movie and then I’ve got to get some reading done,” he reasserted, not completely convincing himself.
She mumbled something and snuggled her head into the pillow, her body shoulder to shoulder with his. With her eyes still closed she said, “My hands are cold.”
Rather than tucking them into her sweatshirt, which was typical, and without opening her eyes, she found Wyatt’s hand and wrapped hers around it. A smile crept across her face as she soaked up the warmth stored in his body.
Wyatt was a bit taken back by this action. He was awash with mixed feelings and he didn’t know what to think. Was Alex coming on to him? Was she just cold? He couldn’t tell, but her actions during this trip so far had been a bit more direct than she had ever displayed. He didn’t know what to think, but knew that he wasn’t going to complain.
Within minutes he could hear here breathing deep and knew that she was asleep. It amazed him how quickly she had managed to pass into the unconscious. He wished he was able to do that. Unfortunately as of late it was taking him a long time to get to sleep. The last two nights he had tossed and turned, trying to decide what he wanted to do.
There was one thing that Wyatt did not like, and that was indecision. He was much better off when he knew the answer to a question. Alex was one he just could not answer. Over the last few days this had been amplified by the time they had spent together. The trip to the grocery and the dinner at Louie’s on Friday night had felt so right, so comfortable, yet it didn’t feel like the other meals or time they had shared together. It was as if there had been progress, a movement towards a place more serious and committed. He wasn’t sure if he was imagining things or not and therein rested his confusion.
In the past Wyatt had used his mind to reason things through and here on a bus, in the middle of Pennsylvania he decided to do it again.
“Control,” he told himself, “that is what this comes down to. If I want things to work out then I need to take control. I can’t allow anyone to dictate what I do, how I feel, where I take my life.”
He turned his head and stole a peripheral glance at the woman who slept beside him. She was plain yet beautiful. He knew that she didn’t look at herself as a stunning, model like beauty. She wasn’t like that at all. She was an earthy type woman, plain yet comely.
“I can’t think of anything but you when you are near me. I can’t focus, I just have to listen, watch, concentrate on you,” he considered for a moment. “Maybe I need to quit you cold turkey. This certainly isn’t working for me. Besides, you’ll be graduating soon anyway. Maybe I should just let you go on your own way?”
He sat thinking for awhile, slowly becoming depressed at the thought of her disappearing from his life, “Look at me!” he screamed in him mind. “She is sitting right beside me and I’m allowing the thought of being without her to take me over.”
In that moment, he made up his mind. He needed to distance himself from her; otherwise he would be trapped, at the mercy of this woman. He couldn’t give her that control. As long as his emotions were running wild he was at her mercy. Inadvertently she had taken control of him and he had to make it stop. Besides, she wouldn’t want that anyway.
Strangely, he felt good about his decision. He wasn’t terribly happy, but there was a certain amount of contentedness that overcame him. Wyatt was convinced that he was made to be a loner, a nomad, a drifter. He appreciated his friendships, but he could also accept loneliness and conspired to create for himself a hermitage where he could escape the control of complexities of others. He would let Alex go, finish out school and live his life the way he wanted it, free of restraints and controls placed upon him by others.
He allowed his melancholy to overtake him. It was an awful feeling, but he wrapped himself in it. It was his life. He always knew it. Why he had allowed an individual to deny him his true calling he didn’t know. It had been a mistake and he would remedy it. Wyatt slept.

The rest of the bus trip was pretty uneventful. When Wyatt awoke he feigned disappointment in himself and forced himself to read his schoolwork. When Alex prodded him to talk with her he told her coldly, “I really need to get this stuff read. Could you just leave me alone for awhile? Thanks.”
They arrived at their hotel in DC at about six thirty. The plan for the night was to just hang out in the rooms and order pizzas. A hospitality room was set up and most of the class gathered there, drank so sodas and hung out. Wyatt skipped going down, instead, he sat in his room, reading, eating snacks from his bag and the machines at the end of the hall. He was supposed to have told Alex his room number after he had gotten it (she had gotten her first and went up to get settled in). He hadn’t. Instead he just stayed in the room, trying his best to concentrate on the words in front of him. His roommate, a junior named Kyle Toomer had told him that Alex was looking for Wyatt, but Kyle hadn’t said anything, not sure if Wyatt had wanted her knowing his room number.
“I don’t know, man,” Kyle had told him earlier when they were discussing Alex, “that girl is okay, but she’s a bit weird. I figured that if you wanted to tell her the room number you’d let her know yourself.”
“That’s cool,” Wyatt replied, wondering what was so weird about Alex. “I’ll call her later. You can tell her what number we’re in if you want. I’m just tired and want to get some sleep tonight, okay?”
“No problem dude. I’m going down to Chuck and Mike’s room. Mike brought a bottle of JD and invited me down to hit it with them. You get some sleep.” With that, he left, leaving Wyatt in the quiet of the hotel room.
Wyatt was still awake at ten thirty when the phone rang. He noticed on the display that it was ringing from Alex’s room and just ignored. She was persistent and let it ring at least ten times before finally hanging up. Each ring had temped Wyatt, but he had resisted, intent on not giving in to his decision.
He felt good about himself, having defended himself against her for a night. He knew he wouldn’t be able to completely ignore her, but he was going to minimize his contact with her whenever he possibly could. He turned out the lights and thought about how he would confront her when it inevitably happened tomorrow.
“Control,” he thought. “Just stay in control.”

Wyatt woke up at six the next morning and slipped out of bed and into the bathroom to shower and get ready for the day. He knew they started serving breakfast downstairs early and intended on getting down there before anyone else. Kyle was sleeping deeply and Wyatt didn’t figure he would be waking up soon. He took his time showering and getting dressed. He slipped out of the room, pulling the door shut behind him and made his way down to breakfast.
Wyatt was surprised to see Professor Swanson sitting at one of the small round tables reading a copy of the Washington Post and sipping on a steaming cup of coffee.
“Morning, Dr. Swanson,” Wyatt greeted, as he made his way to the bar where a spread of cold foods was laid out.
“Oh, well good morning Wyatt,” the older man answered, “I’m surprised to see any of you students up this early.”
“Yeah, well I’m not big on sleeping. Besides, I got enough on the bus trip yesterday. I’m excited about getting started today,” he replied, loading up a plate with a bagel, cream cheese, and a couple of spoonfuls of fresh fruit.
Wyatt set hi food down on a nearby table and the professor ushered him over, “Come sit with me. I’d rather have someone to talk to than read all this garbage the papers report.”
Wyatt smiled, picked up his plate and made his way over. He had always liked Dr. Swanson but other than class, never really spoke with him.
“So Wyatt, what are your plans for the day?” the scholarly old man asked over his glasses.
Dr. Swanson had been very lax on his itinerary for the time they were actually in Washington. He was insistent on them each making a trip to various points of interest but was not restricting them to a particular schedule. They had been given a “walking test” to take, insuring they had visited the prominent areas of concern to the class, but beyond that they were free to explore on their own.
“Well,” Wyatt began, “I want to visit Arlington today. I heard the weather was supposed to be good and figured that would be a good start. My grandfather was killed in World War II and I want to visit his grave.”
“Arlington is a pretty big place. I doubt if you’ll be able to find his marker without help,” the professor replied.
Wyatt knew he was being challenged, “I’ve been here before. My folks brought me here a few years back. I think I should be able to remember where he was buried. I figure it is the least I could do, you know, visit my grandfather.”
Swanson nodded his head, “That’s very noble of you. Then what?”
“I don’t know, I figured I walk over to the monuments, check out Lincoln and the Wall,” Wyatt replied, referring to the Lincoln Memorial and the nearby Vietnam Wall.
“Lot of walking,” the older man replied. “You going with anyone? Maybe your friend Alexandra?”
“Yeah, it’s a lot of walking, but I’m used to it. I loved walking the Freedom Trail in Boston and it is pretty long,” he replied, ignoring the questions.
Dr. Swanson seemed to get the hint, “Well, if you want company I’d be happy to come along. I may need to stop and rest a bit, but I’m still in pretty good shape. I like to attach myself to different groups each day, so I appreciate you letting me tag along with you.”
Wyatt smiled at the professor, “That’d be cool. When did you want to get going?”
“Well, let me get another cup of coffee. You can finish up your breakfast. I seriously doubt anyone else will be up before eight so we might as well get going early,” he answered.
This relieved Wyatt, he had hoped to get up and out before anyone else. This was working out pretty well. Besides, this would give him an excuse for when he finally ran into Alex.

March 30th – Dear Starlog

I had a pretty good day with Professor Swanson. I knew he knew a lot about history, being a PhD and all, but I was completely unaware of how much trivial information he knew. He told me all about the monuments including how they were built and stories about them as they were being built. We walked all around Arlington and he was able to tell me something about some people buried there that I would have never even given a second glance had had he not pointed out their stones. We were able to find my grandfather’s stone and I think that impressed him.
He asked me about Alex and I told him we were just friends. I don’t think he was completely convinced, but what else could I tell him? We are just friends. Sure, I think there could be more, but I know she doesn’t want it. It kinda made me mad. Matter of fact, I kinda resent the way she has played me. I guess being with someone like Dr. Swanson allowed me to be honest with myself. He’s an impartial figure and while I wasn’t willing to share everything, it was nice to be able to talk to someone without worrying about what I said. He’s a good guy.
Alex found me when we got back. She didn’t seem mad, just a bit disappointed. I told her I was sorry for not getting a hold of her last night. I told her I had a monster headache and crashed early. I also explained to her that I met Dr. Swanson in the breakfast room this morning and learned that he was going to be walking around Washington by himself and felt bad. I figured that after the long trip that she would be sleeping and guessed that it wouldn’t be a big deal if I hung out with him.
I still don’t think she was too happy with me, but frankly, she’s going to have to accept it. I’m not here to entertain her. I’m not her puppy that she can play with when she wants to. I’m in control of myself now and you know, I had a good time today. I really liked just walking around with Dr. Swanson. I did tell her that I promised that we could hang out tomorrow.
I don’t know what she did today, but she survived. It was hard looking at her because I know she was disappointed but you know what? Quitting anything is hard. Smoking, drinking, gambling. Each of them has their own challenge and I’ve got to face up to this one. I know I’ll get through it. I managed today and it turned out. I don’t really care for the lying though.