Wyatt Klinker Section 12

Well, things are looking a little less bleak here at work. I'm still not out of the woods, and I may still lose my job in two days when the layoffs are announced, but I'm feeling more confident that it won't be me. Call it a gut feeling, but there are just things happening that lead me to believe that I'm not going anywhere.

On the home front, things are going okay. Gracie is in a weird kind of funk and I don't know what to do with it, other than shower her with attention. She acts bored all the time and mopes around. I've tried to do more things with her. Last night I taught her how to play a dice game and she really enjoyed that. I will also try reading to her more. I want her to be the sweet little happy girl I know and love, not the depressing one she's been the last couple of weeks.

Last weekend's trip to Libby-Lu's was a good one. In case you didn't know, Libby-Lu's is a little girl store where they do the hair and makeup for girls then give them little trinkets to complete the look. Grace and her friend Autumn got the rock star look including head phones and glitter in their hair. They looked cute. She was really excited and had a great time. Libby-Lu's is closing for good after the first of the year, so hopefully we can get her back one more time before they do.

On the Wyatt front, I've done absolutely nothing. I need to work on the editing so I can get the thing turned in to the printer. I'm just a bit burned out, plus this whole deal at work has kept me on edge. Hopefully soon.

I am also tearing through ideas for my next book. I'm playing with one right now, but want to get a good outline before I start. It should be fun. I'm excited about starting but don't want to until I'm ready. It's all about planning for this one.

Okay,almost done with Wyatt's story. I am posting chapter 13 today out of a total of 17 plus the Epilogue. Hopefully by next week I will have run all the chapters by you and I can get the final feedback. Until then, thanks for reading.

CHAPTER 13: DISAPPOINTMENT

Wyatt started the next morning off with another early breakfast, sharing a table with Dr. Swanson and breaking down what they each had planned for the day. Wyatt had originally thought about asking the older man if he wanted company for a second day, but thought better, figuring that the professor would make good on his promise to tag along with someone else today. Besides, Wyatt had told Alex that he would hang out with her today. That hadn’t prevented him from asking Kyle, Mike, Chuck and a few other people from the class to go with them though.
He had it worked out that they would visit the National Archives and the Library of Congress. These were two stops on their “walking test” and Wyatt had reasoned with his roommate that they should get their schoolwork out of the way early so that by Friday they could do something they wanted, like hang out at the Hardrock Café or something like that and not worry about finishing their work.
Alex was a bit put off when she met him, along with eight others who would be touring with them that day, in the breakfast room. She had been the last one to arrive and looked a bit frustrated when everyone got up as if to get started. She grabbed a banana and tucked it into her pocket then snatched up a blueberry muffin to eat on the way.
“I wish you would have told me that there were a bunch of us going,” she whispered to Wyatt, pulling on the sleeve of his jacket.
“Oh, sorry. Kyle and I were talking and we figured it would be cool to go as a group. I didn’t think you’d mind,” he replied, trying to keep his voice light and non-combative.
“If I would have known that I would have hurried so I didn’t look like an idiot being the last one to show up. I figured it just be you and me.”
“Don’t worry about it, nobody cares,” he answered, “Let’s just enjoy the city.”
Wyatt ignored the comment about it just being the two of them and Alex didn’t push it. He was glad of that.
The day was actually pretty pleasant. Wyatt was able to interact with Alex without feeling as if there was any pressure being exerted on him due to how he felt about her. It didn’t hurt that Alex was a bit cold, distant and moody. Wyatt understood, but in the end he knew it was necessary. In the end she was going to be angry with him. They were both going to end up hurt, but Wyatt couldn’t allow it to continue.
The historical aspects of the city really suited Wyatt. Besides that, he was able to maintain focus on the scholastic as opposed to the social which was so prevalent when he and Alex were together. In the end she even got into it and made it a quest for accomplishment.
Weary from a long day walking, the group piled on the subway to head back to the hotel. Alex sat across from Wyatt, looking at him as he stared out the window into the darkness of the train tunnel.
“You want to go grab something to eat when we get back,” she asked, breaking the trance he seemed to be in.
“Well, Kyle and Chuck asked me to go with them to the hotel restaurant when we get back. After that I guess we’re all going back to Chuck’s room to hang out. I’m sure you can come with us if you want,” he had planned out his response, somewhat sure of how she would answer.
“Oh, okay,” she replied, the disappointment showing in her voice. “No, you go ahead and hang out with them. My feet hurt and I think I’m just going to watch some TV then crash early.”
“You sure?” Wyatt asked, relieved that she had answered how he figured she would.
“Yeah, you go ahead,” she answered.
She didn’t say anything more for quite sometime, before looking straight at him and asking, “Wyatt, can you and I go out to dinner or something tomorrow night? Just you and I?” Her voice was quiet and higher in pitch than normal, like she was pleading with him.
Wyatt felt trapped. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings but he had to stick with his plan. He scurried for an excuse, “Well, I thought a bunch of people were going to the Smithsonian tomorrow then eating around there. I guess there’s some IMAX show or something everyone wanted to go to. I was planning on doing that.”
Her face began to crack, her emotions getting the best of her and Wyatt weakened. He couldn’t bear to watch her so he quickly added, “But we could go Thursday. I don’t have anything planned then. Would you like to go then?”
She looked at him with a strained smile and nodded. He could see her mind racing and he wanted to just reach out and hold her, but he wouldn’t, he had to remain resolved.
“You want to come with us to the Smithsonian tomorrow? You’re welcome, you know that, don’t you?” he tried to minimize the damage.
“I don’t think so Wyatt. I think I’ll check with Shelley and see if she wants to walk around with me,” she answered, referring to the girl she had been assigned to room with on the trip.
“That’s cool,” he replied, turning back to the window so he didn’t have to look at her any longer.

The next day Wyatt didn’t see Alex at all. He had spent the day with a bunch of kids from the class then hung out that evening with Kyle and Chuck. They were decent guys, not necessarily the kind of guys Wyatt would spend time with, but they allowed him to hide from Alex and served as a good distraction. He was down in Chuck’s room until well after midnight before deciding to go to bed. He didn’t have any real plans the next day other than to wander around the city poking his head in any building that looked interesting but wanted to get started early so as to avoid Alex.
He was surprised the next morning when he got down to the breakfast room at seven o’clock only to find her sitting at a table with Dr. Swanson sipping on a cup of steaming hot tea. She was dressed as if she was ready to go for the day and had her pack sitting on the floor beside her. The plate of food in front of her was half eaten, indicating that she had been there for awhile. She noticed him as he walked in.
“Good morning Wyatt,” a smile spreading across her face. She appeared happy to have gotten the jump on him this morning.
“What are you doing up so early?” he replied absently, not sure what he was going to do now.
“Well, I missed you last night but figured you were going to get an early start, so I set a wake up call so I could meet you for breakfast. Looks like I could have slept a few more minutes.”
Professor Swanson was smiling, “Good morning Wyatt, would you like to join us?”
“Um, sure. Let me grab something to eat and some coffee,” he replied, moving towards the breakfast bar.
As he made his way through the line his mind raced, “What am I going to do now?”
He loaded a plate up with fresh fruit and grabbed a bowl of cold cereal. He figured he might as well take his time eating. Balancing his plate on top of a cup of coffee he made his way to the table.
Immediately Dr. Swanson put him on the spot, “So, what are you kids going to do today?”
Wyatt bought time by taking a big bite of cereal, mumbling as he covered his mouth and feigned politeness. He held up one finger as if to tell the professor to give him a second.
Alex answered before he could, “Well, I would like to go to a few different places. I was thinking the US Mint, the Pentagon or the Holocaust Museum.”
“The Holocaust Museum is definitely worth the trip. It is an amazing place, if not a bit depressing,” he answered. He turned his attention to Wyatt, who had finished chewing.
“Well, I was hoping to go to the Capital today,” he lied.
“Oh, I went there yesterday,” Alex answered, a bit of disappointment in her voice. “I guess it doesn’t matter though, I can go back again.”
Dr. Swanson looked from one student to the other, interested in how the exchange was going to play out.
It was evident to Wyatt that he wasn’t going to escape her today. It couldn’t hurt to hang out with her so he answered, “Oh, I didn’t know that. We don’t have to go to the Capital, not if you went there yesterday. Besides, I’ve been there before anyway. You can pick where we go Alex.”
Dr. Swanson let a smile play across his face. Wyatt wondered why he was so happy. It was evident that he was aware of the game being played and had been amused by the outcome.
Alex was happy too. She smiled wide, those perfect white teeth flashing. Even her eyes, which had been so morose, brightened.

The day was actually pretty good. Wyatt had nearly forgotten how much he enjoyed being around her and it felt good to have her to himself, the two of them walking, talking about whatever crossed their minds, and just goofing around together. When she reminded him about their dinner that evening he realized his folly. He had thought he had progressed far over the last couple of days; broke the connection between the two and started to move in the direction he knew they needed to go. Yet, like an alcoholic, he had drunk her in today, and he was back to where he had started, and now, the threat of dinner, that very evening was threatening to put him into a downward spiral that he couldn’t escape from. He had to figure out what to do.
They had done their research prior to coming to Washington and had found a quaint little restaurant in the Georgetown area that they both wanted to try. The past Friday, when they had played husband and wife at the grocery store they had a agreed in a moment of seriousness to dress up and go out like adults, to see what the real world offered. Wyatt had agreed at the time, so caught up in the moment, but now he realized what a mistake that had been.
Now, as he stood in front of the mirror in his room wearing a white, freshly pressed collared shirt and purple paisley tie, along with khaki pants he realized that if he had any hope of controlling the situation he was going to have to hurt Alex, and it was killing him. She was so important to him, but she couldn’t keep leading him down a path she was unwilling to walk. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe hurting her would be what it took to fix this.
Wyatt thought to himself, “Maybe she won’t be hurt at all. She did say she wasn’t interested. It’s just dinner anyway.”
Wyatt pulled off the tie, and began unbuttoning the shirt.

It was twelve-thirty by the time Wyatt made it back to the hotel. He had taken the last train back from downtown, where he had spent the last five hours wandering. He was surprised to see Dr. Swanson sitting in the lobby reading a thick, non-descript book. Seeing Wyatt wander in, he immediately set it down and waved him over.
“Good evening Wyatt,” he said cordially, if not a bit fatherly.
“Hi Dr. Swanson,” he replied, a bit leery.
“Wyatt, it isn’t my business to involve myself in my students’ personal lives, but I think it is important for me to tell you that Alexandra has been looking for you all night.”
“I figured she would be,” came the younger man’s only response.
“Wyatt, sit down, would you please,” the kindly man patted the cushion beside him.
Wyatt obliged him, turning to look at the old man.
“Wyatt, why are you treating Alexandra this way? She is a sweet girl and it is evident that she likes you. Is there something wrong with her that I have not noticed?”
Wyatt thought for a moment before answering. His voice was low and melancholy. His decision to ignore Alex tonight had not been an easy decision, and his heart could feel it.
“That’s the problem Dr. Swanson, there is nothing wrong with her. I care about her so much, but she has made it clear that she wasn’t interested in me,” Wyatt choked out the words.
“That’s nonsense, son, she is crazy about you, anyone can see that,” he snapped back, a smile on his face.
Wyatt didn’t want to argue, but felt the necessity, to defend his actions, “She told me she wasn’t interested in me but I let myself fall for her. Now I can’t stop thinking about her and I can’t go through that rejection.”
“Wyatt, I don’t know what she told you, or when she told you those things, but I do know that that young woman doesn’t deserve the treatment you’ve been displaying the last few days. You can’t hurt her to justify you yourself not getting hurt, because in the end, both people suffer. Have you ever thought of just telling her how you feel?”
Wyatt thought for a moment. Giving up his feelings never came easy because he knew it exposed himself in ways he wasn’t willing to do.
Dr. Swanson spoke again, “Well Wyatt, I would suggest trying something difference because whatever you’re trying now are destroying two kids I have watched for half a semester, and enjoyed seeing together, even if they weren’t ‘together’.”
“Go talk to her Wyatt,” he continued. “Go end this now. If that is truly what you want, don’t lead her around making her wonder. If it is a break from her that you need, then make it a clean break, so she can get on with it as well. Don’t keep lying to her. No one deserves that.”
Wyatt sat there, looking at nothing in particular, letting his actions over the last few days play over and over in his head. He knew Dr. Swanson was right; he had just refused to accept that this was how it would have to end.
“I suppose I’ll just have to talk to her in the morning,” Wyatt mumbled, rising from the seat.
“I wouldn’t wait that long, son. She’s been sitting on the steps downstairs for the past hour. I suppose she is still there.” The professor pointed to the door that led to the stairs. Wyatt nodded and headed that way.

The downstairs area was where the pool and exercise rooms were. The students had been disappointed to find the pool closed due to issues with a broken pump when they had reached the hotel. The lights had been dimmed and few people came down here, especially this time of night.
As Wyatt came down the stairs he heard the muffled sobs of a woman and his heart immediately jumped. He didn’t know if he could do this or not, but knew he had to try.
“Hi, Alex,” he said, his voice almost a whisper.
Immediately she stopped crying, “What the hell do you want?” Her voice was full of venom.
“I came to apologize, to explain…,” he let his voice trail.
“There’s nothing to explain. I get it Wyatt. I just wish you weren’t such a coward.” As she said that, she turned and looked at him.
Wyatt could see a trail of mascara on her face where her tears had caused it to run. Her eyes were puffy, and he could tell she had been crying for awhile. She hadn’t changed out of the clothes she had wore to meet him for dinner and Wyatt was disgusted with himself. Her skirt was the same color as the tie he had been wearing earlier, and the like blouse and vest she wore were stunning. He had never seen her looking so elegant, and again his heart raced.
“I am a coward, I’m an idiot and I’ve not treated you the way you deserve,” he stuttered over his words, not really sure how to say them.
She stared at him, waiting for him to continue. At least she was willing to hear him out.
“Alex, I tried to be what you wanted me to be, to be your friend, but I can’t do it,” he started.
“Well that’s pretty evident by the way you’ve been acting,” she interrupted. “What happened? When we left, everything was going great.”
He could see the tears starting to form in her eyes again. He took a deep breath and began, “Alex, I felt things changing between us, as if you were getting more comfortable with me. I have to admit, I really enjoyed it. Friday night, when we were at the grocery store, I really felt something. Then, when you held my hand on the bus, when your hands were cold, I realized that things had went all wrong.”
She shook her head, confused, “Wyatt…”
“No, just let me finish,” he interrupted moving past and crouching in front of her. “Don’t hate me Alex, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t just be friends with you. I want something more, and if I can’t have it, then I can’t be around you anymore. It tears me up whenever I’m around you. I want to blurt out how I feel about you, but I know that you don’t feel the same abut me.”
He dropped his eyes, not wanting to look at her. He felt ashamed of himself, but at the same time relieved that he had finally received his release. He knew that it would be horrible without her, but it was for the best.
He sat that way for a minute, listening to her sob, tears of his own running down his face. He was surprised to feel her hand on his head, her fingers combing through his hair.
He looked up and was surprised to see a strained smile on her face. Her eyes were wet and glossy but oh so beautiful.
“Oh Wyatt,” she wailed, slipping her arm behind his head and pulling him towards her. He hugged him as she sobbed, her face buried in his neck.
He didn’t know what to think as she pulled away from him. She wiped her eyes with the tips of her fingers and wiped them on her dress. He didn’t stop looking in her eyes as she began to speak.
“Wyatt, I tried so hard not to like you, I really did. I knew that it would be too difficult with me graduating and you being just a freshman. I should have never stopped that night in the library, but I did. I shouldn’t have sat buy you in class, but I did. There was something about you that just made me want to be around you.”
She kept looking at him, finally composed, “Wyatt, I can’t help myself anymore. All I ever think about is you. When we were at the store Friday night I realized that I loved being with you, that I could walk around the grocery store with you forever. I didn’t want to feel that way either, but I do, and I can’t help it.”
Wyatt couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Was this actually happening?” he thought to himself. “What should I say,” he thought to himself.
The truth is there was nothing to say. Here they were, walking the same road as one another and they had not even realized it until now. Without saying a word they leaned forward until their lips met.

April 1st – Dear Starlog:

I just left Alex at her room. It is about two thirty in the morning. We just spent the last two hours sitting in the stairwell talking. She means so much to me that I can’t even explain it. I’ve never felt like this before. I know I won’t be able to sleep, even though it’s late and I’m tired. I still feel bad about standing Alex up, but I guess it all worked out.
I wonder what life back at school is going to be like. I wonder what Dave is going to say. I wonder what I’m going to do when school is out for the year.