The Rush of Daddyhood

When I brought my camera in to work this morning I knew I was going to have to post a couple of the pictures that I took this weekend but in truth I really didn't know what kind of story I was going to put to the pictures. Sometimes it is difficult coming up with topics to talk about when it comes time to update my blog. This is especially true when it comes to the kids. It's easy to write about things that they do, or accomplish but it is difficult on those everyday type times when things are just status quo.

Such was my quandry this morning as I was downloading the pictures. Once they were finally transferrred to my computer I took the opportunity to open a few of them up to see how they turned out and that's when it hit. That's when the "Rush of Daddyhood" overcame me and I knew what I was going to write.

Life is extremely imperfect. We trudge through many parts of it, forced to face situations that we would rather just ignore. There are so many moments of monotony, of stress and of anger and frustration. Then there is the "Rush of Daddyhood".

When I opened the picture you see above something happened to me. My heart lept and a smile came across my face as I looked upon the image of my little girl. What an incredible feeling it is to have someone like Grace in my life. There are so many moments where she erases all dread and stress and for that I feel extremely blessed.

Some of those moments are very mundane, like when she falls asleep on the couch and I have to carry her in to bed. Others come in what she says, like when she tells me she loves me all the way up to the sky.

Sometimes it is just watching her when she doesn't know I'm peeking in on her. Like in the van when a song comes on and she begins to sing. I love to listen to her and watch her in the rearview mirror. Eventually she looks up and sees me and that smiles explodes across her face as she quits singing in embarrassment.

Other times it is her profound reliance on me for love, protection and strength. I remember the last big storm we had she was so scared. She came to me in the living room and she and I sat in the dark, her huddled up next to me, jumping at every thunderclap. I wrapped my arms around her, and while this may sound selfish, allowed her to cling to me as I basked in the feeling as I allowed her to take solace in my protection.

I heard the Kenny Chesney song, "There Goes My Life" yesterday and couldn't help but think about Gracie and how perfectly she fits that song. As we recently sent Megan off to college, I imagine Gracie, 12 years down the road, doing the same thing and it made my eyes tear up a bit. She is my little princess. I tell her everyday how much I love her and love it when she reciprocates. Everytime she does I get that satisfaction felt only with the "Rush of Daddyhood".

I know that eventually there will be a time when she goes away and makes a life of her own. Those days will be painful for me, as she is my life and will take a huge part of me with her when she goes. Until then I will steal every moment I can where I can feel the rush that tells me that at this very moment, this very second, I am living life as it was intended to be lived: with a profound feeling that God is lookng down on me, giving me a gift that makes all other travails trivial. He fills me with a feeling born in Heaven and only granted to those who are deserving of his Grace. Funny how that works out.