This is the second in a series of posts I am making about the family and friends who have influenced my life. As I mentioned previously, a life is not wholly shaped by the individuals living it, but instead by the people who surround them. While family is incredibly imprtant, so are those people you call friends...I started college at Adrian in the autumn of 1986. I was immediately smitten by the campus, by the people and as I learned on my very first day, the professors. I went to Adrian with the intention of becoming a lawyer. I had talked to the political science department chair and decided immediately that Poli Sci was going to be my major.
As part of the core requirements at just about any school, you have to take at least one semester of speech. I had been a speechy in high school and had no problem signing up for COM102. I could have chosen a variety of professors, but the day I made my selection is in retrospect one of the best decisions I've ever made.
Dr. Bleam was very young as far as professors go, the first time I met her. I would have to guess (please forgive me if I mangle your age Sheri) she was in her early thirties. That said, she was, and continues to be, an individual that when she teaches, commands respect. Now don't get me wrong, she doesn't come across as tyranical. Far from it. Even in lecture she is warm and endearing, funny and approachable. She is terrifyingly intelligent and it shows, yet she makes you feel comfortable and I immediately found a home.
It didn't take me long to fall in love with communication. The next semester, much to the chagrin of my department head, I changed majors. I also began working for Sheri in the forensic union. This entailed putting things together for Dr. Bleam, sorting, stapling, or just sitting around prepping for a debate.
For one semester at Adrian (maybe it was two) I was one the speech team. I came in with a huge chip on my shoulder because I had been so successful in high school speech. I learned a lesson in short order. Dr. Bleam is basically a professor of debate and was able to point out my flaws immediately. Wow, was I humbled. Dr. Bleam not only taught me how to debate correctly, but she taught me new ways of thinking about debate from a purely theoretical perspective. She also taught me a debate style different from the standard NDT (National Debate Topic). the style was called CEDA, or value debate. From this I learned that you could take a stance on a topic from a moralistic position and defend yourself based on pure argumentation rather than relying on hard copy evidence cards to support your position. It wass about taking argumentation to it's purest from and using the beauty of persuasion to make you point. What a valuable tool she gave me!
Sheri and I had a student/mentor relationship from the word go. As part of the forensic union we had social gatherings that allowed us to become friends with others in the department. Through Sheri I met my friends Sue Hobe, Connie Abdala, and Sherry Phillips who as upper classmen helped me enjoy college away from class, particularly on Friday nights when we would gather in one of our rooms and watch movies and partake in refreshments otherwise off limits to college freshmen.
My sophomore year I was given the enviable opportunity of debating Sheri and Dr. George Aichele in front of a significantly large crowd. This was my most intense speaking opportunity I have ever been given. To even be on the same podium with two PhDs is a huge honor. I was a bit intimidated but gave it the old college try. I wish my parents could have been there to hear me speak. I was so proud that out of all the students on campus, many who had passed through both Sheri's and Dr. Aichele's class, that I had been chosen for this honor. It remains today a highlight of my college career.
Dr. Bleam was more than just a professor. She was, and continues to be my friend and mentor. I now coach a high school debate team here in Fort Wayne and constantly reflect back on what I was taught. I also write to Sheri on occasion to vent my frustrations or ask for advice. She has been intrigal in my successes as a coach, including sending a team to the National Tournament in Houston, Texas in my first year coaching.
Sheri is a cool person outside of the classroom. When I ran into some personal issues she was the ear that would listen and not judge as well as the shoulder to cry on. I remember one time I had pulled a groin muscle playing football and went to class one morning. As I sat there the muscle tightened and completely incapacitated me. I was in the basement of Mahan Hall and couldn't make it up the stairs. Sheri came out of her office and allowing me to lean on her, helped me hop up the stairs. She then went to the health center and got me crutches so I could get around. I really appreciated that gesture. It meant a lot to me.
Sheri never buckled to the perceived norm of her profession. She was a geek like the rest of us, loving Star Trek, Dungeons and Dragons and fantasy literature. She still loves hose things today and in a touching note of compassion, went to see the Lord of the Rings movies twice, once for her, and once for our fallen friend Mike Pyorala, whom she found a kinship.
I had a great opportunity to introduce Megan to Dr. Bleam one time. I took Megan to Adrian to tour the campus and Dr. Bleam joined us for lunch. I wished Megan would have chose to go to Adrian, just so she could share the company with my friend, who without asking would keep a close eye on my daughter without betraying a friendship amongst the two women which I had hoped would grow. Megan made a different choice, but I was happy she got to meet my friend.
Dr. Bleam is still at Adrian. I still call her, or email her. More than anything however, I still remember something she told me about 20 years ago. She had said that the world was full of smart, intelligent, innovative people. There was however a difference between being smart and being a scholar. Scholars are a rare breed who look at information and thrive on learning itself. They find a passion in their chosen field and make it a priority in their life. She then told me that I was a scholar. That is the biggest compliment I have ever received or ever will. While my schooling as stalled, and I may never make it back, I have never given up my passion for learning, and studying and becoming better, more knowledgable. I give complete credit to Dr. Bleam who fostered in me a passion that I only knew I had because I chose to emulate her. She is my mentor and my friend and I can hope to ever convince everyone of the impact she's had on my life.
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